The Promised Forever
by Ankoku
Summary: It indicates a certain pilot's thoughts towards a promise of forever... *Yaoi indications*


AN: This fic is based on Gundam Wing even though it doesn't include any solid informtaion. I wrote it based on Gundam Wing and the coupling can be anyone you see fit. Although, it is quite obvious who one of the characters are.  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing or any of the characters.  
  
  
  
The Promised Forever  
  
By: Ankoku (a.k.a. Chibi Vampire)  
  
  
  
There is no such thing as forever. Everything ends eventually. Life, love, time, they all have their endings as they had their beginnings. Forever is a concept that the short lived mortal minds created so that the universe did not seem so frightening. Love is forever, God is forever, the soul is forever, diamonds are forever...they are all sayings with no real meaning because there is no forever.  
  
But as fate had it, someone ended up promising me an eternity. It was a long time ago, on a beautiful cloudless day. He told me that we would be together forever, in life and in death. In my heart, I truly wanted to believe him. But I couldn't. He should have promised me a life time. I could have believed in that. But not eternity. Of course, I told him that I didn't believe in all that mumbo-jumbo about forever and that he was deluding himself. Then, much to my surprise, all he did was smile at me. A gentle smile that still haunts me to this very day.  
  
This very day happens to be the day when he left me. Five years ago today, the love of my life, left me.  
  
  
  
~Flashback~  
  
Five Years Ago, This Very Day  
  
  
  
The boarding school we were stuck in was the same as any other. Our room consisted of drab walls, sparse furnishings and a lone fluorescent light to illuminate the entire room in a sickly pale colour. Our school mates were young, innocent teenagers with more hormones than sense, our teachers were tired but dedicated adults who were underpaid and our classes were monotonous drone of things we already knew.  
  
He and I were in one room, as I had wanted, and with our choice of clothing, no one suspected a thing. Not even the teachers. We would be here only long enough to infiltrate the science lab complex just a mile North of the school, then we would pack our bags and leave. Leaving no traces that we were ever there.  
  
Today was the sixth day we'd been here and the morning began with the usual routine. I was up before him and I carefully extracted my limbs from his possessive grip. I silently padded over to my laptop and went over the mission perimeters, even though I already knew them by heart. Today, we were going to get into the lab, copy their data, blow it up, and then leave. I couldn't wait. After this mission, we were going to go to a lovely spot in the desert, courtesy of one of our friends, and spend days just the two of us. The thought brought a smile to my face.  
  
I had been typing away at my laptop for what seemed like hours before he opened his eyes. I watched him out of the corner of my eyes as he dragged his sleepy self into the shower. My beautiful lover blew a kiss at me and walked into the bathroom, practically daring me to follow. But I had some self-control left. Some.  
  
I heard the water run and chuckled at his colourful expletives as the cold water hit his body. He still did not have enough patience to let the water run hot before jumping into it. He would spend approximately thirty minutes in the shower, I estimated. I only took ten minutes at most, but he did have more hair than I did. Miles upon miles more hair, delectably tinted with blond streaks and softer than the nicest silk sheets. I always preferred my hair short, even though he kept insisting that I would look better if I let it grow. Slowly, I let my mind wander to the rest of his body.  
  
At that point, whatever had been left of my self-control deserted me and I practically ran to join him in the shower.  
  
He was grinning like a fool in our first class and even I had a small smirk on my lips. The shower had turned into anything but a shower, and we had nearly missed the bell for our first class. We had dressed hurriedly into our white shirts, khaki pants and blue blazers before we tore out of our room like we were on fire. He had it worse than I did since he had to run and untangle his hair at the same time.  
  
But we made it in time. I wondered if I should tell him that his shirt was inside out.  
  
When the day was finally over, he and I lingered in the student locker room in the gym, packing away the last of our belongings. Soon, we would leave and never come back. No one was in the locker room except for us and the silence lingered in the air like cheap perfume. I turned my back to the wall of lockers as I glanced over at him. He was staring at me with those bottomless eyes, the love he felt for me transparent and obvious.  
  
And then he spoke the words that changed everything.  
  
"We'll be together forever, love, in life and in death. I promise you that."  
  
I was speechless, which was not unusual for me. I always was quiet around people. Many feared me for that, but not him. He was the one who taught be how to feel again. With his exotic beauty, he could have had anyone he wanted. Any woman he desired, even men, but he had chosen me.  
  
"How do you like that, hm? An eternity with me."  
  
"There is no such thing."  
  
My voice was clipped, almost cruel in its sharpness. But he smiled at me, he understood. He always had. His eyes shifted, changing from it's deep, bottomlessness, to a light, feathery colour. Even as I denied him eternity, he loved me. And I loved him. I would love him for the rest of my life. And that was all I could believe.  
  
Without another word, he stepped over to me and placed a hand gently on my cheek. At that, I kissed him with all the passion and love that lurked beneath my stoic surface. My right hand gripped his face as if he would disappear the minute I let go. He wrapped an arm around my waist, supporting me when I started to slide down the wall. My left hand buried itself in his long chestnut hair, anchoring him to me. I clutch onto his arms in a desperate attempt to stay standing while his legs bore our weight as if it was nothing. I gave him all I had within me. I just couldn't give him what I didn't believe in.  
  
When we parted from the kiss, he looked at me with those beautiful eyes and that same gentle smile. I pulled him into a tight embrace and inhaled his scent, ripe with passion and love.  
  
Then, only three hours later, during the mission, it all came to an end. He died.  
  
  
  
~End Flashback~  
  
Present Day  
  
  
  
I look at your grave stone and I can't even cry. It has been five years since it all ended. Love, joy, life. You left me and everything was over.  
  
For five years, all I saw everyday was that smile you bestowed on me during our last kiss. The look in your eyes when I tasted you last. The feel of your body when I touched you for the final time. I told you, back then, that there was no such thing as forever, didn't I? You didn't believe me. I know because I saw it in your eyes.  
  
You are gone. All I have left are memories of you. The way you smiled, the way you yelled, the way you spoke. And when I die, I'm afraid that the memories will die with me.  
  
I touch the grave stone gently, smoothing my fingers over the marble surface. It's so cold, not suited to your warm personality. I crouch down and press my forehead into the bold letters, ignoring the sharp indentations. I know what it says. I put on every word myself.  
  
::My Dearest Love::  
  
::As In Life, So In Death::  
  
::Forever::  
  
No one else really knows what that means. Sometimes, even I don't know what it means. But I'm here today, not to decipher what's on your grave, but to accept the promise you gave me all those years ago. I'm ready to be with you, forever.  
  
I still don't believe in eternity. But if I don't, I can never see you again. Never is more frightening than forever. And so, I'm going to try to believe in your eternity, your forever. The look in your eyes when they were light and feathery, that is eternal. Your gentle smile, it opens the gates to eternity. Your kiss, it is forever. Without you, I would never have found the happiness you had shown me during that little time we spent together. Those memories are forever.  
  
And so today, this very day, I accept your promise of forever. I will begin my journey into eternity.  
  
I can almost see you smiling at me, holding your hand out for me. I can almost hear you say, "Welcome to eternity my love."  
  
And somehow, I believe you. I still know everything has a beginning and an end, but somehow, when you say it to me now, I can believe you. So I let go and reach out for you. And when we touch, eternity begins. As you promised, as I accepted. Today is the beginning of the promised forever.  
  
  
  
AN: So, what ya think? Review! 


End file.
